[pradselost]

1. My number one pet peeve has got to be when players take slapshots from about 5 feet out and right at my head. The majority of the players I've played with have no idea how to control their slap shot and have only learned how to make it go high. Even when we practice deflections, these guys will rifle it over the net repeatedly.

2. There's a guy I play against that always has his mouth open whenever he has the puck. He'll come into the zone, deking around like he's an NHL allstar, all the while with this shocked look on his face, like he can't believe his (he thinks) slick moves. I'd think he was doing it on purpose to be obnoxious, if he wasn't such an obvious idiot that he can't control it.

3. This same player will literally stand still in the offensive blueline, waiting for a pass, and bang his stick on the ice while his team tries to play defense.

4. I'm usually early for pickup so I'll go right along the boards outside of the bench and start stretching. The zamboni driver (who is already off the ice) will freak out, screaming at me to get off the ice - buddy, it's not like I'm even skating around, for pete's sake.

5. For whatever reason, the pro shop at my local rink only carries junior goalie stuff. I know I'm in Las Vegas, Nevada, so I can't expect much...but they have about 15 junior goalie jocks on display, which have been sitting there since roughly 2003.

6. Players in Las Vegas have some sort of primal need to lie about their play level. I'll be sitting in the locker room and some guy will go "Oh yeah, you know...hockey here just isn't the same as it was back when I was playing for Minnesota's farm team two seasons ago." Mind you, the person saying this is a poorly coordinated, quite possibly physically handicapped, 320 lummox wearing a helmet two sizes too small, a pair of hockey pants two sizes too big, and tube skates.
I'll say Oh, where in Minnesota? "Oh...Northern Minnesota." Ah, I've heard it's so nice up there. Trees and such. What team did you play for? "The um, Minnesota Wild Farm team." No kidding? The Duluth Icecaps? "Oh yeah, that's them. I'm here for reconditioning". Yeah, I can imagine it's hard to get conditioned for a team that doesn't exist. Seriously, just because I play in Las Vegas doesn't mean that I know absolutely nothing about the rest of the hockey world.