Goalies & Parents at the Grade 9 & 10 Age Group

[drummergoalie]

Well, I am 16 (going to be 17 in January) and I was close to quitting hockey. I had a spot on a team, and just like that the coach turned to me and told me he was going to go another route. I was pissed and rite there I said I quit hockey.

I've been skating since I was 3, and playing since I was about 5. I am one of those teens who loves to hang out with his friends and have fun, but would much rather hang out with friends and watch a Leaf game. I'm not into the the whole party seen.

I decided the best way to get over it was to get a job. So I did, and I started to make some money Anyways, one night I decided to see what was going on with new pads and stuff, and that passion for hockey just hit me again. I realized I wasn't going to let politics get in the way of me playing hockey, and doing what I love. Too bad almost every team was already full with goalies.
Either way, I decided to by myself some new pads with my newly aquired money, and go to some goalie schools/camps.
Turns out a friend of mine who signed Jr.A told me his team needed a goalie still, becuase something happend with the one they had signed. I gave the coach a call, tryout out and I am now playing for them.

Sometimes teens like me get out of the game for girls, and cars, and partying, but even when you play hockey you still have time for that. The main reason I think all this happens is politics and parents. Some parents make there kids feel like they have to play hockey, and it shouldn't be like that so the teen decides he has had enough. Some teens see the politics involved in hockey now days and say screw it, and just quit.

Eventally that person will do something that sparks there love for the game, and they will then want to play hockey again.

[goalies-r-us]

As the parent of one of those kids who started skating at 4yo (his idea, not ours!), I've been reading this thread with an eye towards the future. Burnout is something that's concerned me quite a bit, b/c Dom has been soooooo besotted with hockey from day one (watching our local minor-league pro team sparked his interest).

When the adults on his team last year (coaches and parents both) made it evident that they were all about the trophies and to heck with what the kids wanted to do, I went in search of a team this year that was about having fun and learning skills. He had several different travel teams interested in him, but instead I found a competent house coach who will let him 50/50 between skating and goaltending. (Another kid also wants to 50/50, so they'll split the positions.)

When I first met Keeks, I asked him what he would do if he had a kid like Dom. His response was, "Keep it fun at this age." That's hard to do in the local hockey culture, but I'm trying my best to keep the pressure off and the fun on.

[HeadSave38]

When I look back, I think it's a shame I didn't start earlier, but then who knows, maybe it wouldn't be as much fun and I wouldn't be a goalie. Part of me knows I only have my senior year left to play get myself in the spotlight and the odds are against me, so it might be beneficial to me to persue my education more. Then the other part of me knows the odds, but doesn't want to let go of that glimmer of hope. I don't plan on quitting, but I'm hoping things look up and I can play with a clear cut goal for the future.

Although I really would like to I really don't even care if I make a college team now tho, cuz I plan on playing Adult league until I am like 80, and die a heart attack on the ice or something.

Oh yeah. I'm not gonna be that old school guy though, I'm keeping up to date with the equipment and techniques, so I can compete with youngins'.

[hammer]

My son is a 2nd year Bantam - 14 y.o. He's going into his 5th year in net. He has turned into a good pitcher on his own work and research. He's a starting defensive tackle on his football team. Last year he played defense on his hockey team when not in nets. He enjoyed it for his abilty to get in some big hits on big kids. This year he actually had a chance at making a traveling team. He's a big kid at 6' 210 lbs but moves well and has a great glove but he lacks the finess of a goalie that has been training year round his whole skating life.

He loves the game and I'd like to get him additional training outside of what I can offer. The question is could a kid like this become proficent to get into higher levels of competive hockey or has his time passed? Where do you draw the line?

[andy]

there are a lot of very good goalies in the cities area that work on nothing but hockey year round. its really hard as a goalie to play other sports.
wish i had a 210 lb dman that liked to hit on my team

[viamidgt32]

I am I second year Midget Minor, and I have gone in the exact opposite direction. I started playing as a first year Bantam (3 years ago), tried out for travel as a second year Bantam, got cut, then last year as a first year Midget Minor, I made Midget Minor A after 1 tryout session, and this year I SHOULD have made Midget Minor AAA (The goalie coach who was there told me I was ranked 2nd out of 7 but I got bumped down to 4th because they knew the kids they were taking) and had I tried out for Midget Major AAA (I am a second year Midget Minor) I most likely would have made it. I now play Midget Minor AA. Also moving up a level most people might have a slight decline in stats, well last year at the A level I was 10-12-1 with I believe a 5.3 GAA and an 87% SV%, this year at the AA level through 6 games I am 3-2-1 (1 loss was by one goal the other was 4-1 to the best team in our league) with a 2.72 GAA and a 92.4% SV%. So honestly I think the whole slacking years from Bantam to Midget is based on person to person, whether they give into temptation or keep their priorities straight and focus on playing and getting better not going out Friday and getting drunk then showing up to a game Saturday hungover (last year there was a kid on my team who came to every other game hung over, he went from AA from Mite to Bantam to A at Midget Minor and is playing A again this yea.) So as long as you know what to do and don;t let foolish things get in your way there should be no slacking period unless your skill level has peaked and everyone else is starting to catch up with you.

[lights_out]

Originally Posted by habs-fan

And don't underestimate the kids judgement. Many know that by age 15, they won't make it.

This is true 99.9% of the time, but I will give you the 0.1% percent example

Kid i played AA or A (I'm 23 and i get mixed what i was playing at the time) when I was 15, good defenceman, ok skate, solid rep leve hockey player. I didn't go to high school with him, so i never knew what became of him until I was around 19. Turns out the kid ended up making Tier II Junior in Burlington, (never saw that coming) and now at the age of 23 plays in the echl with Dayton. Obviously he is the exception to this rule, but still even at 15, he wasn't playing in the "O" or even AAA yet still at 23 he's playing pro puck. To be honest, i bet if you asked him at 15 if he thought he was going to be playing pro puck, he would have said no, but thats how life works i guess.

I on the other hand starting working at 16 and will be a beer leaguer till I get so bad that my girlfriend/wife will have to hide my equipment from me so I will stop playing. Jus

[habs-fan]

I know what you mean. Kid I played with whan I was 16 ended up making it to the show as a journey man goalie. But it was not the same then. I remember all teams only carried one goalie. We didn't have games or practices or off ice training every day. Usually 1 practice and 1 game. It was fun. If the AA goalie couldn't make his game, everybody moved up one level. Teams were community owned. I'm still dumbfounded that minor teams are owned by individuals, as a money making enterprise. That is one sure way to take the fun out of it.

[Goaliedad]

I am starting a new thread about sports performance related depression which is a contibuting factor to teenage players who loose focus and quit.

[Big Daddy D]

Wellsie,
I think the biggest problem with the kids you're dealing with is that they're Toronto kids, and AAA Toronto kids generally are spoiled rotten and have no sense of personal responsibility or accountability. For that fact there are also a lot of parents who are absent in the child's life and the kids don't get the right encouragement to keep them ataining their goals.

I have a great deal of customers at all levels of play and generally speaking 95% are great people with great kids, but there are a lot of the AAA kids who both the kids and the parents are extremely difficult to deal with. At the end of the day, I don't take those kids home and I'm not married to the parents so it doesn't bug me, but I can tell you without even seeing the kid play which ones are good and what type of goalie each is.

We live in a society of instant gratification where no one wants to be responsible for themself, but expect 100% accountability from everyone else. Everyone thinks they're a lawyer.

I think the whole hockey thing is just a symptom of the disease. I'm not trying to throw parents under the bus here or anything. I'm a parent myself, but my daughter isn't even two years old. I think I see a HUGE difference in the people I deal with, and there seems to be a trend of the parents who had their first kids around 10-17 years ago and they are absolute knuckle-heads. now, not all of course, but the lack of the ability to prepare your child for the real world that parents simply don't seem to provide is sickenning.

I have also spent a lot of time, from when I was 17-22 spending in various capacities working as a volunteer in elemtary school classes with kids 4-6 years old. Well, thats about the same age as the kids I'm talking about now, they're in their middle of high school years. The absolute lack of preperation for school that some of these kids had was unbelievable. kids know the word to every commercial on tv, they know all the characters of every disney movie, but cannot count to five, or print their own name. You know why? It is because someone has to teach that to them and before you go to school that is the parent's responsibility and a lot of parent's bother with that kinda stuff.

I know, we're all under pressure, the economy hasn't been good, both parents have to work now, there are only so many hours in the day and if you don't work 50-60 hour weeks you'll never buy a cottage and a mercedes and a flat screen in every room and your gym membership and all the other things to do out there.

I think it's simple, kids are messed up, people are messed up. there are a lot of people walking around aimlessly not knowing what to do with themselves, basically running on autopilot trying to be the family in the ikea catalogue.

I really need to write a book or something. sorry if that was jaunty and if it ran around in circle, I'm not going to edit it now, its too long and I'm going home for the day.

[The Wall33]

Dana,

Thanks for the thoughts - they clearly echo my observations.

I had to laugh this year - I lost a minor atom AAA (8 year olds) contract b/c the kids 'demanded' the coach use 'their' goalie coach. I just shook my head when the coach - a respectable guy - gave in. Seriously messed up! As if an 8 year old knows jack crap about jack squat... lol

I laughed at my buddy (the coach) and told him his lack of cajones will come back to haunt him; he knows it's true but he still acquiesced. Hillarious. Really, it's a lark and I now know who controls his genitalia!

Knowing your store location I know, that you know, what I know, which is that of which you speak.

Since I started this thread I've taught about a dozen lessons and it's helped me relate more precisely to the kids... thanks all.

Wellsie

Originally Posted by Big Daddy D

Wellsie,
I think the biggest problem with the kids you're dealing with is that they're Toronto kids, and AAA Toronto kids generally are spoiled rotten and have no sense of personal responsibility or accountability. For that fact there are also a lot of parents who are absent in the child's life and the kids don't get the right encouragement to keep them ataining their goals.

I have a great deal of customers at all levels of play and generally speaking 95% are great people with great kids, but there are a lot of the AAA kids who both the kids and the parents are extremely difficult to deal with. At the end of the day, I don't take those kids home and I'm not married to the parents so it doesn't bug me, but I can tell you without even seeing the kid play which ones are good and what type of goalie each is.

We live in a society of instant gratification where no one wants to be responsible for themself, but expect 100% accountability from everyone else. Everyone thinks they're a lawyer.

I think the whole hockey thing is just a symptom of the disease. I'm not trying to throw parents under the bus here or anything. I'm a parent myself, but my daughter isn't even two years old. I think I see a HUGE difference in the people I deal with, and there seems to be a trend of the parents who had their first kids around 10-17 years ago and they are absolute knuckle-heads. now, not all of course, but the lack of the ability to prepare your child for the real world that parents simply don't seem to provide is sickenning.

I have also spent a lot of time, from when I was 17-22 spending in various capacities working as a volunteer in elemtary school classes with kids 4-6 years old. Well, thats about the same age as the kids I'm talking about now, they're in their middle of high school years. The absolute lack of preperation for school that some of these kids had was unbelievable. kids know the word to every commercial on tv, they know all the characters of every disney movie, but cannot count to five, or print their own name. You know why? It is because someone has to teach that to them and before you go to school that is the parent's responsibility and a lot of parent's bother with that kinda stuff.

I know, we're all under pressure, the economy hasn't been good, both parents have to work now, there are only so many hours in the day and if you don't work 50-60 hour weeks you'll never buy a cottage and a mercedes and a flat screen in every room and your gym membership and all the other things to do out there.

I think it's simple, kids are messed up, people are messed up. there are a lot of people walking around aimlessly not knowing what to do with themselves, basically running on autopilot trying to be the family in the ikea catalogue.

I really need to write a book or something. sorry if that was jaunty and if it ran around in circle, I'm not going to edit it now, its too long and I'm going home for the day.

[goalies-r-us]

Originally Posted by The Wall33

I had to laugh this year - I lost a minor atom AAA (8 year olds) contract b/c the kids 'demanded' the coach use 'their' goalie coach. I just shook my head when the coach - a respectable guy - gave in. Seriously messed up! As if an 8 year old knows jack crap about jack squat... lol

I laughed at my buddy (the coach) and told him his lack of cajones will come back to haunt him; he knows it's true but he still acquiesced. Hillarious. Really, it's a lark and I now know who controls his genitalia!

Wow.... I mean, I'm saying this as the parent of an 8yo.... WOW!!! If Dom ever "demanded" that I send him to a certain camp or that I pay for private lessons with a particular coach, he'd be lucky to touch ice for an entire season, let alone get any goalie coaching. WTF???

Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that team, Wellsie... that contract wouldn't have been worth it if they paid you quadruple your normal rate, what a NIGHTMARE those kids/parents would have been!

The Hockey Gods were looking out for ya on that one, Wellsie!

[The Wall33]

Originally Posted by goalies-r-us

Wow.... I mean, I'm saying this as the parent of an 8yo.... WOW!!! If Dom ever "demanded" that I send him to a certain camp or that I pay for private lessons with a particular coach, he'd be lucky to touch ice for an entire season, let alone get any goalie coaching. WTF???

Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that team, Wellsie... that contract wouldn't have been worth it if they paid you quadruple your normal rate, what a NIGHTMARE those kids/parents would have been!

The Hockey Gods were looking out for ya on that one, Wellsie!

You are probably right, but it's always fun working with the little guys at the AAA level so I was a bit disappointed. Having said that, I'm sure it was the parents who forced the issue, not the kids.

It actually started out that each goalie 'demanded' their goalie coach be the one the team used. They would not compromise on which coach to use so one practice coach #1 would come out and work with his goalie and would ignore the other. Next practice coach #2 would come out, work with his goalie and ignore the other guy... what a great environment and example to set for your child!

I blame the head coach - who IS a good hockey guy - for not laying the law down right from the start. The problem is that the parents / goalies now rule the roost and he'll be subservient to their demands until little Johnny decides, probably halfway thru the season, that he no longer wants to be a goalie.

It should be fun watching that tandem implode.

[habs-fan]

I think that the fact that an 8 y/o has a personal goalie coach says a lot about how far from playiong hockey for fun those kids are. Those are likely the kids who'll hang them up for good once they realize they're not making it.

I've been playing hockey for over 40 years, I'll be playing until my body quits on me because it's always been fun. The problem is that competitive parents took over kids sports.

[goalies-r-us]

Originally Posted by The Wall33

It actually started out that each goalie 'demanded' their goalie coach be the one the team used. They would not compromise on which coach to use so one practice coach #1 would come out and work with his goalie and would ignore the other. Next practice coach #2 would come out, work with his goalie and ignore the other guy... what a great environment and example to set for your child!

Wow... that's still just WOW.

So much for "teamwork", huh? Dom's splitting the goaltending duties with another goalie this season (YAY!) and before the season even started I asked the head coach if it was okay for us to bring in an outside goalie coach to some of the team's practices (there is no "team" goalie coach, just what parents choose to pay for on their own). The coach was all for it, acknowledging that he doesn't have the know-how to train goalies and it would be good for the kids and the whole team for the boys to get "real" goalie coaching. He just asked that I let him know in advance which days we'd have a goalie coach coming in so that he could plan his practices around whether he needed to include the goalies or not.

Then I contacted the other goalie's parents and let them know that we were going to be having a goalie coach come in to work with Dom, and asking if they wanted to "split" the goalie coach services with us, allowing both kids to get the training while keeping the cost lower for each family. They loved the idea, particularly when they found out that this was going to happen during the team's regular practices rather than them having to try to schedule separate goalie training times into their busy schedule.

The team is doing "skills" sessions this month, and formal team practices start next week, and the goalie coach schedule is already in place through Thanksgiving, with the coach and both families all on board; everyone's happy and working together for the good of the kids.

The Atom team you're talking about sounds like it would be a nightmare. You're right -- the head coach made his bed, and he's gonna have to lie in it! In a couple of months, he'll look like this: