RIP, my dearest friend

[goatee220]

My condolences. Sounds like he was a good friend. He'd be honored you wrote such a nice tribute. Take care of yourself and your family.
- Pat

[kohokid]

Most sincere condolences, Holy. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Isaac is with you at every turn, and a chilled pint of Guinness raised and enjoyed will make him smile.

[oldgoalie]

Sorry for your loss and while we salute his passing in serving his country it doesn't make it any easier I am sure.

I lost two friends last summer, both goalies, one to cancer, the other to a freak accident. I think of them every time I step on the ice.


Blake

[Old Swiss2]

Holy: My sympathies.

[Darth Wall]

Holy(Brett)
My heartfelt condolences go out to you. I too know what it's like to lose a lifelong friend way too early. Hang in there, cherish the time you spent together.Take care.

[JediGoalie30]

Holy,

Sorry to hear about your friend; I can see that he meant a great deal to you, and I'm sure to all who knew him as well. While I am not the most religious guy in the world, there is a verse that comes to mind when I think about the brothers in arms that I have known who made the ultimate sacrifice.

"A greater love has no man than this, that he laid down his life for his friend."
-John 15:13

RIP SSG Isaac Palomarez. You will be missed. You will not be forgotten.

[HFDJARHEAD]

Semper Fidelis.
Stay strong.

[Holy the Goalie]

Again, thank you, everyone, for your kind words. They are doing wonders as far as keeping my spirits up.

I also wanted to post an update. I had a chance, along with another of our friends, to speak with Isaac's parents. At first, it was a little awkward, since I wasn't sure how his parents were going to react to us (Later, his Mom had a laugh describing how everyone that came over was watching her out of the corner of their eye, to see how she was doing). I also got to meet one of his three older brothers, whom I unfortunately hadn't gotten to know better. We all shared some stories, some tears, and some laughs. And some beer.

As we kind of settled into the moment, his parents asked that we, along with our other friends Chris and Clark, be pallbearers during the funeral, which we accepted without hesitation. We will carry the casket on the way into the church, and then he will receive a full military burial, along with military pallbearers on the way out to the cemetary. They also asked two favors of me, which brought me to tears, yet again. Isaac was Catholic, so they are planning an appropriate ceremony; they will have the priest speak, and then his brother will eulogize him on behalf of the family. His parents have asked me to deliver a eulogy on behalf of his friends, which I accepted and view as a great honor.

They also asked that I accompany them to pick up his body from the airport. Whenever Isaac had leave, I would pick him up at the airport, and drop him off at his parent's house. They figured that since this is the last time he will be coming home, it would be fitting that I be there at the airport with them. His Dad almost completely broke down when he asked me that, which made me almost completely break down. I was, and still am, touched that they want me to be such a big part of this occassion.

I'm not entirely sure what to expect from a Catholic burial, as the only funerals I went to were my Grandparents', who were Christian (but I don't know which denomination). Is there anywhere I can get a description of what is going to happen? Also, I'm not entirely sure what appropriate dress would be when we pick up the body. I'm planning on dressing nicely, but do I need to wear a suit, or would that be overdoing it?

I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through giving a eulogy; I took speech in college, but it doesn't reall prepare you for something like this. . .

[Dragon]

I'm going to a viewing today (a friend's father - I can't make the funeral tomorrow), and I'm wearing a black suit, a white shirt, and a black-based tie. I'm *hoping* that's appropriate. As for the eulogy, I'm sure you'll write a perfect one; the tribute you posted here to start was a great jumping off point. If/when you have trouble getting through it, everyone will understand and give you all the time you need.

It's great that his parents recognize what an important part of his life you were, and I'm sure that he'll be sitting in the clouds, drinking a Guiness and smiling as he sees you do him honor on his return and at his funeral.

Dragon

[goalies-r-us]

Holy, my recommendation is to contact the priest/church directly, as each church's protocol will be slightly different.

I've mostly attended "regular" funerals (held in a funeral home), but I've also been to some Episcopalian church funerals and Catholic church funerals. All in all, other than length and religious formality, there weren't too many differences between them all.

Catholic funerals include a Mass service with Communion, which catches some people off guard. They also include Holy Water and Incense Burning, which can surprise those not familiar with the Catholic church. Usually the printed funeral program will indicate when to kneel, when to stand, when to pray, etc.

Here are some websites that might give you an idea of what to expect, but my best suggestion is to call the church directly, explain that you are not Catholic but have been asked to participate in the funeral service, and ask what they think would be helpful for you to know. (I wouldn't be surprised if they don't already have a "What to Expect" handout prepared that they can give you.) Also, ask to be seated with your girlfriend at the funeral itself; that way you'll have someone familiar with Mass who can help guide you in what to do when.

Our Lady of Grace - Catholic Church Encino - Burials

Catholic Cemeteries Chicago/Christian Burial Rites

Archdiocese of Los Angeles

GUIDELINES FOR CATHOLIC FUNERAL RITES-PDF

Archdiocese of Vancouver - Planned Giving

Policy on the place of Funeral Masses

Catholic Funeral: FacingBereavement

Catholic Funeral

[goatee220]

Holy-
The eulogy in a Catholic mass is just like any other - you don't have to know anything about the ritual or anything. Basically the priest will call you up when it's time - so make sure you sit up front. I'm sure you'll be fine. Take your time, everyone knows it's a difficult task, but I think there is no higher honor than being asked to share with everyone the stories of what made your friendship so special.

The last time I gave a eulogy (my Grandmother's) I told everyone that it was difficult to give this eulogy for two reasons. First (the obvious) I'm sad that she's gone and I'll miss her, and second - because I had too many great stories to choose from when trying to write it. She did so many great things, it was hard to pick just a couple to share with everyone.

I'm sure your friend has done the same thing. Make sure you let everyone know that, and ask each of them to make their eulogy difficult as well. Hopefully they'll be inspired by his memory.

Good luck & take care.
Pat

[Holy the Goalie]

Well, Isaac's back home now. Myself and two of our close friends accompanied his parents to the local airport to take possession of the body. It was all very well handled, with members of the army, police, and fire brigade in attendance. The army honor guard removed the casket from the plane and loaded it into the waiting hearse, then the Priest said some words with his parents and blessed (I assume, he splashed some holy water over the casket) Isaac.

When we got back to funeral home, there was a very short, very intimate ceremony, where the Priest read a short verse from the Bible, and led everyone in the Lord's Prayer. Then we all had a few moments to approach the casket and have a few words with Isaac. Finally, a representative from his company presented some of his personal effects to his parents, and provided them with the medals that he had been awarded, including the Purple Heart and the Bronze Star.

All in all, it was the worst day of my life, yet it wasn't. I have never cried so much or so hard in my life; somehow, it seemed to have a cleansing affect. It seems like I hold myself together for so long, and then I let all my emotion out in hardcore bursts.

I'm pretty wiped out, so I think I'm going to take a nap; we still have a lot of preparation to do for the actual funeral on Monday. Thank you to everyone for keeping him and me in your thoughts.

[Margoto]

Holy, you are a good man and friend. You should be consoled in the fact that Isaac is a hero for our country. He left his home to fight for all of us, (this Wing fan included!). It warms my heart to know that he is being honored in his passing by a loving group of family and friends. I never knew Isaac, but he will never be forgotten and will always be a hero to me.
God Bless.

[adavis]

Holy have you considered getting a tattoo to honor your friends memory?

I have no idea if that's really your scene or not but my work does a ton of that stuff and from what I've seen it seems to have a really cathartic effect on the people getting it done, especially on those who have lost loved ones in the war.

Either way I'm glad to hear your friend made it home and if you have any questions on the tattooing process shoot me a pm.

[Holy the Goalie]

Originally Posted by adavis

Holy have you considered getting a tattoo to honor your friends memory?

I have no idea if that's really your scene or not but my work does a ton of that stuff and from what I've seen it seems to have a really cathartic effect on the people getting it done, especially on those who have lost loved ones in the war.

Either way I'm glad to hear your friend made it home and if you have any questions on the tattooing process shoot me a pm.

I don't have any yet, but it is something the four of us used to talk about. Considering the circumstances, it would be kind of cool to do something like that. I may take you up on your offer in the next couple of days.

Thank you.