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An Open Letter to Goalie Parents,
For over 18 years, I have had
the privilege of instructing young people on the position of ice hockey
goal. During that time, I have met goalies with many types of personalities
and skill levels, as well as their parents and coaches. In retrospect,
there are some common threads that have made many of these goalies successful
enough to advance beyond Minor Hockey, and into the Junior, College,
and Professional Ranks. Likewise, I have also seen common threads that
have prevented many from moving on. I have written three articles that
pass on some of these observations, and intend to present them over
the next few weeks. One article is addressed to the goalie, one to the
goalie's team coach, but, to begin, I start with a piece openely addressed
to the parents of young goaltenders.
All Of A Sudden You Have A Youngster Who You Think Is Turning
Into A Good Goalie.
- He's playing very well and winning games
on his own.
- He seems to be the star of the game more
and more times.
- Even against better teams, your goalie
is keeping them his team in it, even winning the odd one, despite
being badly outplayed.
- He's starting to get calls from "All
Star" and "Elite" summer teams.
- Other parents are telling you how good
he's playing
As For The Young Person Himself,
- He can't get enough of the position.
- He loves to practice, and play games.
- He can be moody before the games, quiet,
turned inside himself.
- After bad games and bad goals he can be
mad at himself, and sometimes takes it out on others.
- Most of all, you can see that he needs
to play this position, that it's important to him as a person, that
it's his first love of his life. It is his sourse of personal pride
and self-worth.
You've got a goalie on your hands.
How can you help him handle and improve at the position, but keep it
balanced with the other important life skills that he needs? I have
some ideas for you!
As a parent, the most helpful
role that you can play to your goalie is the one you play all the time.
Guide, encourage, and help him manage his life until he is old enough
to fly on his own. For some reason, normal, well-meaning parents, that
usually act on the best behalf of their children, sometimes don't when
it comes to hockey. They seem to get caught up in the mystique of it
all, the prestige of being the parent of a skilled player in one of
North America's most popular sports. They enter "the hockey reality".
As a parent, you must be careful not to be fooled by your goalie's early,
short term success. This success is really just a qualifying sign of
POSSIBLE potential, not nearly the confirmation of future stardom that
many seem to think.
Here are some of my thoughts
on what you, the parent, can do to support your young goaltender.
Set a positive example around the rink.
Becoming a destructive influence at the rink or towards
the coaching staff can be a disaster of titanic proportions. No coach
wants a parent telling them that they do wrong, or what to do. Hockey
is a team game. Coaches are part of the team. Parents are not. You
don't want your goalie taking fallout over your actions. It is embarrassing
to the child, and teaches him that the best way to deal with problems
is to yell louder and be a jerk. Parents must be calm, and calculate
the best way to approach a coach if there is a problem. You are the
most influential human your child has in his life, so lead by example.
I have seen, on more than one occasion, a goalie that was not selected
for a team because the coach didn't want the parent(s) as part of the
package. Bad mouthing coaches, players, and parents in front of your
child teaches him how to undermine authority and change the team focus
from the overall goal of winning and achieving. When you read newspaper
articles about players not being "good in the room" or "cancers
on the team", it is usually referring to a player who is undermining
the greater good of the team for selfish reasons.
Try and keep a grasp on reality for any given game or performance
your child plays.
If your goalie has played poorly, or is having a rough
stretch, no amount of spin doctoring can make it better. Everyone on
and around the team knows when a goalie doesn't "get it done".
MOST OF ALL THE GOALIE. Blaming other kids on the team erodes
your credibility with other parents and starts finger pointing. Young
people need to learn how to deal with failure and poor personal performances
in all aspects of their life. Don't teach them the way to handle short
term setbacks is to blame other people. A goalie that rationalizes poor
performances is doomed in the long run. When your goalie plays poorly
or loses the game, keep calm and take the high road around players and
other parents. No matter how unfair it seems, it is your kid's job to
stop all the pucks. Don't blame others for him not doing his job.
When you get into your car to
drive home, try and keep game talk to a minimum, unless your goalie
wants to talk. After he has settled down, try to discuss what happened,
how he feels about it, and what needs to be improved upon. Try to be
a mirror by bouncing back questions, and letting the goalie find answers.
Remember, a goalie knows when he's played poorly or lost the game because
of a bad goal, and if given the chance to talk or think it through,
he can usually arrive with what went wrong and solutions to the problem.
Help him take a mature, long term view of his hockey. Remind him that
he still has years ahead to master the position. Most of all, let him
take responsibility for his successes or failures, as hard as it may
be. He knows in his heart what is right.
When your goalie is playing well,
equal attention should be paid to how you handle his attitude, as well
as how you're perceived by other parents. Like it or not, humans get
jealous. If somebody's kid seems to be better than their's, trouble
and backstabbing can occur. Again, everybody around the team knows when
a goalie plays well and is the main reason the team winning. Let
performance speak for itself. A low key, long term attitude must
be taken for the goalies sake. The last thing you want is a young person
thinking he has nothing more to learn. Keep the focus on long term goals,
and continued personal and team improvement.
When It's Game Time, Grab A Coffee, Sit Down, And Shut Up
Playing goal requires concentration. As the level of hockey
gets better, concentration and self confidence are the two most important
factors to any goalie's success. The time to chip in your two cent's
worth about your goalie's play, or something you notice him doing, is
not during the game. I am always amazed that some parents feel it is
beneficial to make sure their kids look up at them after every flurry
of action or goal against. I have seen parents stand behind their kid,
during the game, hollering instructions. One of the least developed
skills, but certainly one of the most important, is the development
of strong "game" concentration. One of the ways to develop
concentration as a goalie is never to take your eyes off the puck during
the play. Trying to communicate to your goalie during the game destroys
his concentration, and doesn't allow the kid develop the discipline
needed to keep high levels of concentration for longer and longer periods
of time. Also, if a parent is constantly barking instructions, the young
goalie becomes dependent , rather than independent, and cannot take
the responsibility of playing goal on himself. Once the curtain has
gone up, let the goalie play. The time for parents to talk is before
the game, with positive reminders of what to work on, and then after
the game. (see paragraph above)
Be A Dad Or A Mom, Don't Be Your Child's Goalie Coach
One of the biggest errors I have seen parents (usually
the dad, but not always) make is trying to give technical advice to
their young goalies. While on the surface it can make sense, especially
if there is no one working with the goalies on the team. But usually
when the goalie reaches a certain age, he will no longer listen. I have
noticed this as the downfall of many good young goalies, and have seen
a wedge built between the parent and child than can last for years.
If a parent wants to get involved, the most beneficial time is when
the goalie is very young, 7-10 years. This is a time when a child still
views his parent as rarely wrong, and will listen intently to the instruction
given. Focus should be on skating, stance, and general techniques during
this period, and should be done in a positive atmosphere, using repetitive,
simplisic drills. When the goalie becomes older, with strong basics,
the parents should back way from coaching and seek good technical instruction
from an outside person who knows what he/she is talking about. Kids
are smart. They know when adults are speaking from experience, and when
they are not. If you don't have credibility or background in a field,
but try to instruct someone in that discipline, you will be considered
a joke. THE KIDS KNOW. Your job as a parent is to keep the big
picture in mind, not to get bogged down in something you really know
nothing about. By keeping an arms length distance from the actual playing
of the sport, you can benefit your child most by supplying him with
the tool of outside persective.
Teenagers, by nature, tune their
parents out, and like it or not, parents are often accused by the young
teenager for not knowing anything. Don't fool yourself into thinking
that your 14 year old will listen and do what you tell him like he did
when he was 10. What he needs is a little independence and responsibility
to learn on his own, and establish a working relationship with an older
mentor. A young person of this age needs your discipline to keep him
focused and healthy, and the general support that lets him know that
you're still there for him. Supplying the tools, the time, the money
and help to grow up as a person and manage his overall hockey goals
should be your number one priority.
The "Scouts"
There is a fine line between helping your kid and hurting
him. This is especially true when you're dealing with scouts or local
"All Star Team" coaches that are at your game, and may or
may not be appraising your goalie. Again, no amount of spin doctoring
a performance will help, especially with people who are choosing kids
for the next level of hockey. These guys have seen and heard it all.
They may or may not know what they are talking about (you would be suprised),
but they are part of the upper echelon of hockey hierarchy, and should
be treated as such. Before I discuss this I will make a suggestion.
If you live close to where a Junior team plays, take your teenager to
watch the hockey and the goalies. The term Junior A can be intimidating.
Prepare him by letting him see the hockey. Know Thy Enemy!
As far as for determining the potential of goalies, Upper
level hockey teams are assessing two main things:
- Is this goalie dominating at the level
he is currently playing.
- Does this goalie have the potential to
dominate at the next level.
As the parent of a goalie who
is being scouted, play it cool . If your goalie has what it takes, the
scouts will be knocking down your door. Remember, the goalie is the
most important player on a team. Scouts jobs are on the line when they
recommend players, especially goalies. What you say to a scout about
how great your kid is means nothing, because, like it or not, you are
biased. They are going to be damn sure that your goalie has what it
takes, and only one thing will convince them , his performance on the
ice.
Your responsibility is not to
become star struck with the situation, but to manage, as best as possible,
your goalie's future. This means one thing, keep your goalie's focus
on his on-ice performance. Do everything you can to keep him thinking
in the present, rather than dreaming (or worrying) about the future.
You don't have to tell him that scouts are going to be at a game, the
other kids will be talking about it. You don't add more pressure by
inffering that he has to play well because Joe Scout is in the stands,
you need to keep him focused on the regular routine that got Joe Scout
out to watch him in the first place!
If you feel that you have a goalie who does have some
potential, but has not yet been looked at because
he plays in a weak or small association or is
looking to be a late bloomer, the situation can
be handled with some polite self promotion. Sometimes
it only takes one person to help. You must decide
the best way to get your goalie some exposure
to the next level of hockey, WITHOUT looking like
a pushie, starstruck parent. Here are a couple
of ideas:
- Call a local Jr.A or B team, and ask if
somone could come and evaluate your son. You will be surprised how
often this works, especially with a goalie. Every team is looking
for a solid young goalie prospect, and teams know that many star goalies
come from a weak associations. You can add to the sales job by supplying
one or more teams with monthly updates of your goalie's stats etc..
What you are trying to do is get some name recognition and some upper
level hockey people noticing your kid.
- Sign up for as many of these Jr./Rookie/Conditioning/Evaluation
camps as you can. Although most are simple cash grabs, these camps
do locate "diamonds in the rough" on a regular basis. At
the very least, your kid will be getting exposed to better hockey,
and can see clearly the next skill level he needs to be able to dominate
at.
Picking A Goalie School And A Goalie Coach
There are two different types of hockey schools. Forward/defense
schools usually use goalies as targets, and pay little or no attention
to their needs. The second kind are schools that only take goalies,
or have separate goalie classes. The first type of schools are good
for shots and workouts, while the second are able to concentrate more
on technique and theory, and may include shots and work-outs. Most young
goalies face shots all year long, and focus very little attention on
the fundamentals of their position. The summer can be a time when good
habits are reinforced, poor habits are broken, and new theory and techniques
are introduced. It is with this in mind that I write the next section.
In my time I have seen and worked
with many good goaltending schools and instructors. I have also seen
my share of poor ones. From a parents perspective, I think it is important
to choose the right program for your goalie's age and skill level. In
other words, some programs are great for younger, inexperienced goaltenders,
and others are better for older, more developed goalies. Whatever school
you choose, make sure you have researched your decision as best you
can. How long has the school been around? Get some names of other kids
who have attended, and talk with them (and their parents) about what
they liked and did not like about a given program. You can contact the
school for some references, but chances are they will give you "plum"
names that will say nothing but good, positive things. A way around
this is to ask the parents of other goalies you meet during the season
about the programs they attend.
Most important is the curriculum
that a school teaches, and who is teaching it. As a general rule, your
goalie should be at least 4 years younger than the instructor base.
You don't want to send a good, high skilled 14 year old to a goalie
school if the average instructors age is only 16. The instructors may
be capable for their age, but when the age gap is only a few years,
the instructor's credibility drops in the student's mind. The hockey
schools that use big-name pros also have their pitfalls. Find out how
much the name pro will be working with your goalie's group, and who
is assisting him. Even if the assistants are good (sometimes you find
they are better than the pro), if your goalie is expecting to work with
the pro and he only shows up for a couple of ice times, the kids will
very disappointed and learning will not be paramount in their minds.
Also remember that just because an instructor plays in the N.H.L does
not mean he can teach. On the flip side of the coin, working with a
name pro can boost a young person's confidence immensly. Having a hero
compliment you can do wonders for a young ego. Sometimes a little "of
the wall" comment from a pro can stick with a young person for
life. If the pro is a good teacher with a positive outlook, the experience
can be very beneficial.
There are many small, no name
schools to choose from these days, and it's hard to tell what they're
like unless you can get a rundown from someone that attended. Otherwise,
you roll the dice and see how it goes. With the sport of hockey becoming
more and more popular, every body thinks he can run (and make money
with) a goalie school. The position has such a high, almost mystical,
profile, and it attracts wanna-be adults who have never played past
their Minor Hockey, but feel qualified to operate a goalie school. Beware
of poorly thought out teaching systems and unqualified instructors.
The last thing you want are wayward ideas and illogical habits programmed
into your goalie as the gospel truth.
Lastly, make sure the teaching
program concentrates on different techniques for the different ages
and skill levels. In other words, the focus of the on ice session should
be different for a Bantam A goalie than for a goalie in Atom C. Track
whether a program changes from year to year. You want to see a progression
of skills, not the same thing taught every year. The goalies get bored,
and they do not move on.
Choosing A Personal Instructor
If you have the luxury and the finances, it can be very
beneficial to take your goalie to a personal instructor. Several run
clinics all year round, 1-on-1, or in small groups. If you can get lucky
and find the right kind of person, a individual who can communicate
with the young person as an equal, challenge him to become better through
positive criticism, and get the young goalie to think about the position
and how he's playing it rather than "make work" instruction,
sign him up! Money spent over the entire season is much better spent
than big chunk's all at once for a 4 or 5 day goalie school. The student
will retain more information if it is coming in 2 week intervals, rather
than in one huge thunderclap. When picking such a person, obvious resume
checks are in order. If you and your goalie like the person and what
he has to say, it's definitely worth a try.
* Personal note: As a teenager and a young
adult, I had such a person to rely on. I not only learned techniques
and theory, but had someone who I could talk to and draw confidence
from. It is without question that I would not have reached the level
of play that I did without him (and his family). What he did for me
cannot be measured by words, but there is rarely a day that I don't
think about and thank him in my mind. I wish that all young players
could be so lucky.
Hockey & School
I have noticed over the years that good, disciplined young
goalies are generally good in school. One of the comments I will consistently
get from the parents of children I work with is that their marks, and
commitment to doing well, in school improves once they start with me
or my staff. The main reason for this is that I do not allow my goaltending
students to accept their own everage output of effort. When they see
the results that they can achieve with complete concentration and exertion,
mediocre efforts no longer make sense. Obviously, the same rules apply
for the time they spend on education, and we make that clear.
I will constantly draw parallels
between academic success and goaltending success when working with students.
I have found that young people often see school as a means, rather than
an ends in itself. While writing the perfect book report on ancient
greeks is no more a key to future success in life than executing a flawless
pad save, the effort and the concentration required for both is. When
students realize that goaltending in not a position that can be mastered
overnight, and when a longterm view with specific bench marks and goals
laid out over a period of 3 to 5 years is implemented, then the parallel
with school becomes obvious. Also, with many hockey players attempting
to earn college scholarships, strong academic are mandatory. If communicated
clearly, getting homework out of a young goalie should not be difficult.
Once the young person can see the benefit of strong performance in school,
he will start to achieve because he understands his best interests.
The Last Word
I don't pretend to have all the answers for bringing up
a child/goalie and helping him reach his potential. All I have tried
to do in this article is relay what I have witnessed over the past 18
years. My thoughts can be best summed up by the attitude of one of my
most recent students, and his father and mother.
The student in question is a
dream to work with. He started with me at age 11, and now he is almost
14. Not a natural goalie to start, he has made himself into an excellent
one. He never gives less than 100%, he listens well, and is able to
recognize that the information I give to him is worth his time and he
has learned and applied it. But I can take little real credit for this
boy's development as a person, as well as a goalie. His parents earn
the credit for the person he is, and he has more than earned credit
for the goalie he is becoming. His parents have made him into a well
rounded young man, with more than one interest in his life. Although
goaltending is his first love, his parents give him a long break in
the summer to be a kid, and make hockey fresh come the fall. His parents
support his hockey, both financially, and emotionally, but have told
him that if he ever wants to quit or do something else, they will support
him.
The most impressive character trait this family showed
came when they had to handle a hockey crisis,
in this case the boy getting cut from the AAA
team last fall. After the initial shock and anger,
the father kept sight of his son's long term future
and didn't burn any bridges within his association
or the coaching staff (although he had justification
to go ballistic). He chose to lead his son by
example, and prompted him to focus on being a
star in B hockey, rather than treating the situation
as a slap in the face or a joke. He taught his
son to handle the cut as a temporary set back,
not the end of the road. The night of the cut,
when they called and told me what had happened,
this 13 year old got on the phone and simply said
"I'm going to show them they made the wrong
decision." He has. The B team was ecstatic
that they got whom they thought was the best goalie
out of the three. The team has had a great, winning
season, and the goalie has become a leader on
the ice and in the dressing room. This player
will play Rep, and, should he keep his focus,
may have the chance to play past Minor Hockey.
Most importantly, he has learned how to deal with
a major set back, and is a better person for it.
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